I have been down in Orlando Florida for 10+ years now.
And yes, it has been a cultural shock!
The first thing I needed to learn was a brand new language. Oh, I hear you, you think Canadian English is "close" to American English? Ha, I say. Ha Ha.
First off, they end the alphabet with Zee instead of Zed. And have the nerve to say "because it rymthes" in the song (A to Zed). My answer? "A little surprise dosesn't hurt you. Try it. Just like a Canadian movie that MAY OR MAY NOT have a happy ending, American Movies always end up "happily ever after".
I knew I was in trouble with the signage (everything ends in age, pronounced edge).
On the way to Disney's Epcot, I went past the sign. My wife to be screamed "you missed Epcot" I answered - The sign said Epcot Exit - but I'm looking for the entrance!
And the construction signs?
In America, the sign reads "END ROADWORK" - which is damn militant.
In Canada, the signs read "Roadword Ends" - it is in the ACT of ending, and implies "Have a nice day!" (polite, eh?)
And speaking of BOOT. While the Scottish may make a word sound like Boot, A Canadian says "about" not "a-boot". How Americans hear aboot - is totally beyond understanding!
Let's not forget about PROCESS. In America, it is pronounced PRAWCESS - with a drawl. Apparently, Prawcess is much slower in America. In Canada - we say it quickly PRO-CESS !!!
The most dangerous thing to do in America is talk Politics!
They only have two parties - a right and a wrong - a left and a right - a republican and and democrate - socialist or business. And religion is mixed in, without any regard to tolerance! The really neat thing is trying to talk to a Republican - they immediately dig a trench around their arguments, pull out their guns, their god and their beer guts. A democrat, on the other hand appears almost wishy-washy (for an American, it means they will listen to your side, THEN shoot you dead).
And do NOT ever say something nasty about America! Let's say you buy a product and it was made here (that is possible). The response is usually "how dare you knock America; we won both World Wars and we police the planet" Heah, great. But what have you done for the earth lately? And what does that have to do with a fan purchased at Wal-Mart!
The last gripe would be about Health Care: Americans just don't get it! America has MORE people denied coverage because of pre-existing conditions (the term used for actually being sick or going to the hospital with a stubbed toe), then the entire population of Canada! Heck, just getting rid of the waste should pay for coverage for the entire country! Here is a concept: Health Care Companies (isn't that an oxy-moron?) have a vested interest in denying coverage (or killing you off), whereas a government plan is preventive medicine (get you back to work, so you will continue to pay taxes).
The most interesting concept is American's calling this country "United States". United? Everything here is a comparison of one state to another - never about sharing or caring or unity! And Americans are especially proud of rating their states! Take Flordia - they actually brag about being 49 out of 50 (states) in education, health and any number of statistics!
Let's hear your comments (keep it clean, and please, this is meant in jest)
